If I can just touch the hem of His garment, I will be made whole. If I could just muster the strength.
Yes, I know what it feels like. When you start your day, dreading what will be added to the to the list of to do’s. You feel like you got everything under control, but then you trip over the to pay list. Yes, you have all these bills staring at you with their envelopes out ready to suck, the joy right out of you.
So you muster the strength to get out of bed still, just to have other issues. You know you haven’t even prayed, yet. Already, you are gasping for breath, which appears to be shallow. You inhale just to find it more difficult to breathe. Your tear ducts began to fill up uncontrollably. You are overwhelmed with different emotions all at once.
You feel like you are suffocating. The adversary goes in for the kill, and you are delivered some bad news. Oh, it don’t matter the news. It’s not good news (it never is with him)! You either hear about a love one being sick, you, yourself is diagnosed with some tormenting disease,or your spouse wants a divorce. Or the big one, your children are being attacked by some unknown sickness, and you don’t have medical insurance. (POW)! A blow is delivered to your chest, and stomach.
You want to just die, and rid the pain. I know I have felt this.
What do you do? Oh, I decided to pray, and cry out to God (what else could I do)? You see the adversary put, me right on my knees. On all four (the right position). I was crawling around in the daylight with a flashlight looking for Jesus. I was crying uncontrollably. I began to just say Jesus…Jesus…Jesus…Jesus. I was determined since the adversary was going to bring me down. That God would get the Glory in the end!
I wasn’t going out like no punk!
All of a sudden, I was being suffocated again. This time it was different though. I felt light-headed, and my words began to stutter Jesus. The room looked like mist of fog. I could not get the whole name out. I believe another language was being uttered. My body, not my body. Then a sudden peace filled the room. I lay curled up like a baby on the floor. I was suffocated by His Spirit. It is as if He was squeezing me so hard that it would cause me to engulf a deep breath of Him, and I did.
So yes, I have experienced suffocation from both ends. I prefer to be suffocated by Jesus. Life can become overwhelming in the blink of an eye, but God will give you peace, while the storm brews around you. There is power in His name!