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Is your last child, only child, perhaps your first child is all grown up and about to leave home, or has already moved out. You might be experiencing some mixed emotions. Understanding empty nest syndrome can help us cope better to releasing our not so little children anymore into the being that God has purposed for them.  We must allow our children to become independent. Though the experience of letting go can be painful, and bring sadness too. You might find it difficult to suddenly have no children at home who need your nurturing spirit, or you might just miss their presence. He or she might have been your companionship. Someone you can just talk to, and trust.

Empty Nest is not a disease…..it’s a syndrome brought by our emotions when our children, or someone dear to us leaves home or away from our comfort zone. We start missing something in our relationships, marriages, or self in my opinion that was once fulfilled and is interrupted. It’s normal to miss a love one.

If you anything like me, you over worry about their safety, and covering all areas that can keep them safe. But I found my prayers, and the tools taught to my son, over the long eighteen years to be sufficient. At some point God has to be ENOUGH! Empty nest can make us have feelings of sadness, lonely, inadequate, depressed, loss of identity, or even marital issues. It can happen, but our identity should be in Christ, not our children. We should send them away with a heart that trust, and the comfort of knowing they are loved, and how proud we are of their accomplishments. You don’t want them to feel victim, or guilt because of their accomplishments. I mean the last thing they should carry is our baggage of feeling empty. You have taught them well!

They have enough to worry about. Remember they must leave from the shelter of their parents. They must become responsible for each action of their life. So what do we do? We should spend much time with them creating those lasting memories before they create their very own. Take lots of pictures, and then some more! Create a journal of the different emotions when they leave to help cope with feeling apart. Think of their journey to get this far. You will still see them, and chat from time t time. And they will still need advice from time to time.

It can be difficult for some who are married, but lack the intimacy which perhaps was sought in a relationship with your child. Meaning what you lacked with a mate, you made up for with maybe sharing and connecting with a child, be it a son or daughter. But now that child is gone, or leaving so now you either have time to be more intimate in your marriage, but now it seems awkward. Or your mate still doesn’t notice you, or have time for you so you are completely lonely, or look forward in another child coming up the ladder.

It is important to allow our children to be children. We must allow them to be free, and to bloom. I know it’s hard letting go, but you must now trust God wholeheartedly with your son, or daughter. It’s having faith in a God who does the impossible! If you are dealing with empty nest, and need someone to talk to, I’m available. You can email me, and we will allow the Holy Spirit to lead us from there.

Okay now you give them a big Hug over a bowl of ice-cream and you laugh, love, and cry together. Then you pray, pray, pray, and send them to do God’s mission as your parents did, when they released you. I love you, and hope this helps soothes the sadness, or pain. You’re not alone in this.

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Their presence will always remain in your heart & home!

Shenine

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