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Photo Credit: Jesus Christ, my Creator!
I have endured more than I thought I could bear. I have felt like giving up. I have cried worse than a newborn child hungry for the first time. I experienced death firsthand when I lost my mother to AIDS, and I was only 21 serving my country in Germany, and pregnant with my firstborn and her to be first grandchild. Then my grandmother to Cancer. My mother wasn’t there to help me through the labor, but when she touched my belly laying in the hospital bed with breathing tubes.
I knew she was praying for me and her first grandchild who would be delivered a month and a half later. I’m grateful for the time I had with her.
I have been abused in every form, but my longsuffering has brought me closer to where I belong. I never gave up hope or blamed God. I questioned how I would survive and cried in agony and pain of feeling abandoned and alone with my maternal mother now gone and my paternal father whom I never had known!
Fear of giving birth to my son with no parental guidance was overwhelming as I felt alone, but look at me now. Did you know I was 2 lbs 2 oz when I was born? Doctors gave up on me. Look at how far God has allowed me to grow, and blessed me with more children to keep me warm and busy so I’m never alone. He gave me a faithful husband after two adulterous marriages from before. They tore me too pieces like never before. I vowed never to marry again, but you see God’s way always win . He has a better plan than man can comprehend.
That’s my past and this is my future, purposed and plan the way God saw and sees fit. Never give up on God and never quit. So I can talk about the good and all the bad, but I chose to talk about Christ because He is the best LOVE, I ever had. He is always there nudging me to move forward, even when I’m tripping over my own mess. I can hear God, saying Shenine, tie your shoes. I use to respond with,” Lord, they just will come undone. ” Now I say, ” Lord let your will be done.”
Sometimes, I just scream out His name in the shower and it actually, feels good. Especially, when the kids are home. It definitely, will make them pray for me….and for themselves too. They say, “Jesus, please answer the phone when mommy calls you, because her screams scares us, and our dog Bella, urinates everywhere.” Bella must be allergic to screams.
Be blessed, and encouraged!
Loving the Lord with all I got!