photo credit: repjes.org
Last night I had a really hard time sleeping. The menstrual cramps had taken over my whole body. They started in the day and worsen by the night. I felt like I was in childbirth labor again. And we as women know how painful that is. I had promised myself not to take any more Motrin, because I had taken it three days prior for my back pain. Too much of anything can be detrimental to the body. Besides, I am always reminding myself that this is the Lord’s body.
I just wanted to cry and cry from the agony of these cramps that shredded through my body. I could feel myself slipping over edge, as I started giving into the pain. I thought to myself, if I just start reading my bible it would take my mind off the pain and place it on God. I mean in such a desperation what better to read than my bible. I opened it but could not focus, still on what to read because of the pain. I was at the edge where hopelessness pulls right in the moment where you feel too weak to resist. I was almost there!
I whispered, “I’m slipping God.” ” Jesus I can’t stand this for another minute, help me.” Much less 5 or 10 more minutes. Or 5 more days for that matter. Seriously God. I can’t do this. Still small voice appeared– I started responding yes, Lord I know I have pushed five babies out, but there is no baby inside me. I began to hold the bible to my stomach where the cramps were at and claim healing. I can feel myself slipping and the devil laughing….do you ever hear the devil laughing? Well, he does right when he thinks he got you!
Oh, my God, the pains are becoming stronger. I just wanted to tear up at this point. My faith was fading, fast all because of these cramps. I felt like all those steps of keeping to faith was going out the window. Why? Because the pain was so unbearable at the time that I needed, God to move quickly. But then I told my self, “ I know God, you move in your own time.”
My Faith had to make a decision. Believe or be deceived by Satan sitting in my ear laughing at me.
I knew my faith was there, and I would make it through with God’s help. But help just seemed so far away at the time of my distress. These were the worst cramps I have experienced along childbirth. My faith had not left me, but was sitting in front of me like a needle in a haystack. I just needed to reach out in front of me and grab faith. I want you to know still today that small faith is completely able to hold and sustain you in your time of trouble, pain, sickness, or circumstances.
I wondered and asked God, why was I not able to turn to a scripture in the bible and God said, my word is in you, your faith to grab the bible and hold it to your stomach was your faith. I could have reached for the Motrin or ran to the hospital, but I called on the name of Jesus and He said that is enough! Through all what I believe to be doubt was my faith in front of me. Calling on the name of Jesus has power .
God had reminded me during my childbirth, how He was there and that was worse. If He brought me through five babies, surely He can deliver me from cramps.
Matthew 17:20 He replied, “Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”
A Woman After God’s Own Heart ♥